Wednesday, 22 February 2012

To Love

To love is the easiest thing to do, it is effortless, everything in the universe is worthy of your love. Love is what you do naturally by existing, if love is difficult for you then you have covered it with what it represents for you rather than what it is.

Posted by Emotional Healing

Saturday, 18 February 2012

The power of love to change a life

The power of love to change a life

As I have stated often, healing your life occurs as a result of a change in pattern, the pattern is how you operate/function in life. The guiding principle of the pattern is a direction, a pathway to the future. Human nature like all things operates according to universal laws, one of them is the conservation of energy, a principle of this law is the path of least effort, to be efficient, not necessarily effective, and expend the least energy. We form patterns of existing that are reflective and in harmony with the direction of our life. The direction and pattern of existence is firmly in place by the time we are six years old.

We will adhere to that direction for the rest of our lives, it is efficient and so we subconsciously follow the path ahead and ‘come what may’, and our future is on that pathway. Unless something happens that forces us off that pathway.

A change in that pathway/direction is a result of a life changing event, something occurs that results in the pattern/direction and future becoming invalid and a reworking or transformation of the pattern occurs and so a new direction and therefore future occurs.

Following is an example of a change of pattern/direction/pathway and future, it is from Milton Erickson a brilliant hypnotherapist and a truly great understander of human nature and the patterns involved. Though he was not involved in the therapeutic undertakings, he recounts these events, as written in the book‘Phoenix – Therapeutic Patterns of Milton H. Erickson’ by David Gordon & Meyers-Anderson.

Milton Erickson tells the story of a man named Joe. Joe was one bad dude.

The thing that influenced me most in shaping my thinking in the matter of psychotherapy is. I was living on a farm in Wisconsin in an area where an eighth grade graduation was the ultimate in education. High school was not approved of. Any boy or girl that went to high school, they were on their way to be educated fools. And that was not approved of. When I was about ten years old my father sent me to the neighboring village about a mile away on an errand. And, of course, as I came into the village, my schoolmates this one summer came rushing to meet me and they told me the exciting news – “Joe is back!” I had never heard of Joe, but they soon informed of who Joe was. Joe, at the age of twelve, a farmer’s son and only child, had been expelled from school because of brutality and beating up the other children, his vandalism, his incorrigible behavior …. and he had stabbed his father’s hogs, and calves and cows and horses with pitch forks.

And he several times tried to set the barn to fire and the house afire. Well, at the age of twelve his parents took him to court, had him committed to the Industrial School for boys. At the age of fifteen the Industrial School paroled him. On the way home Joe committed some burglaries and was picked up by the police and promptly returned to the Industrial School, where he had to stay until he was twenty-one years old. By that time his parents were dead and they disposed of their property leaving Joe without any inheritance. And when he was discharged at age twenty-one he was given a suit and $10, and he headed for Milwaukee …. And shortly arrested for burglary and sent to the Young Men’s Reformatory in Green bay. He served every day of that sentence – in other words, no time off for good behavior. He was released from the reformatory, he went into the town of Green Bay, and committed some more burglaries.

The police picked him up and he was sent to state prison. And when he completed every day of that sentence he was released, went into the village and committed some more burglaries and was arrested by another policeman and given a second term in the state prison. After serving every day of that term, he returned to the village. That day I arrived in the village it was his fourth day in town. Each of the three previous days he had spent standing beside the cash register estimating the day’s take of the merchants at three different stores. And all of them knew that Joe had broken into their store and stolen a lot of things. A man who owned a motor boat had found his motor boat missing. And the morning I arrived Joe was sitting on a bench under the store awning staring into the distance.

Now it happened that there was a farmer about three miles from the village, a farmer who had three hundred acres of company land. He was a very rich man, had beautiful buildings, and to work three hundred acres requires a hired man. And his daughter Susie had graduated from eighth grade, she was about five feet ten, and she could work alongside any man in the community. She could pitch hay, plow fields, help with the butchering … any task she could handle. The entire community felt bad about Susie. She was a good looking girl, she was famous for her housekeeping, her dressmaking and her cooking, and she was an old maid at twenty-three years. And that should not be. Everybody thought Susie was too choosy.

On that particular day when I went to the village on the errand, Susie’s father’s hired hand quit, because of a death in the family and said he would not be back. And Susie arrived, tied up the horse and buggy, came walking down the street. And Joe stood up and blocked her pathway. And Joe looked her up and down very thoroughly, quietly … and Susie with equal poise looked him up and down very thoroughly. Finally Joe said. “Can I take you to the dance next Friday?” Now the village always had a weekly dance on Friday nights for all the young people. And Susie was very much in demand at those dances and she regularly drove in and attended the dance. And when Joe said, “Can I take you to the dance next Friday?” Susie said coolly, “You can if you’re a gentleman.”

Joe stepped out of her way. She performed her errand, went back. And the next morning the merchants were very glad to find boxes full of stolen goods at their front doors. And the motor boat had returned. And Joe was seen walking down the highway towards Susie’s father’s farm. Word soon got around that he had asked Susie’s father for the job of hired hand, and he was hired. And made a magnificent wage of $15 per month. He was allowed to have his meals in the kitchen with the family. And Susie’s father said, “We’ll fix a room for you in the barn.”

Joe turned out to be the best hired hand that community had ever seen. Joe worked from sun up to long past sun down, seven days a week. Joe was six feet three, a very able bodied man and, of course, Joe always walked to the village on Friday nights to attend the dance. Susie drove in to attend the dance. And much to the ire of the other young men, Susie usually danced with Joe every dance. And Joe’s size made then wary of pointing out to Joe the error of his way by appropriating Susie. In just about a year the community was buzzing with the gossip because Susie and Joe were seen going out Saturday evening for a drive, or ‘sparking’, as the term was used. And there was even more gossip the next day – on Sunday - Susie and Joe went to church together.

And thereafter for some months, Joe and Susie went for a drive every Saturday evening and to church on Sunday. And after some months of this, Susie and Joe were married. And Joe moved from the barn into the house. He was still the best hired man imaginable and Joe and his father-in-law. With some aid of Susie, ran the farm. And Joe was such a good worker that when a neighbor got sick, Joe was the first one to show up to help with the chores. And they soon forgot all about Joe’s history of being an ex convict.

Now when I decided to go to high school a lot of the neighbors were displeased. But Joe encouraged me to go to high school and encouraged a lot of other kids to go to high school. I decided to go to university – the neighbors groaned about that Erickson kid becoming an educated fool and Joe encouraged me to go to college. He thought it was a very excellent idea for all young people to go to college. And Joe’s popularity in the neighborhood was such that he was elected to the school board. And at the first meeting of the school board all the parents were there. And Joe opened the meeting by saying, “You folks have elected me president of the school board. You gave me the most votes and that means president. Now I don’t know much about school. I know all of you want your kids to grow up decent kids with an education so they can live better lives than working from sun up to long after sun down seven days a week … and when you educate your children forget about taxes – hire the best teachers, and get the best school supplies, the best books.” And Joe was elected to the school board repeatedly. And Joe’s reputation literally blossomed anew from the day he hired out for $15 a month, which was later raised to $30 a month.

Eventually Susie’s parents died and Susie inherited the farm. Joe and Susie had no children but Joe had no trouble getting hired men. He went to the state reformatory for young men and asked for any young, promising ex-convict from the reformatory. The reformatory was for first time offenders.

Some of those men lasted a day, a week, a month, and some for months. As long as they worked Joe kept them around and treated them well. And he served to rehabilitate quite a number of ex convicts. When I got my job as state psychologist for Wisconsin to examine all inmates in penal and correctional institutions, Joe was very happy for me, and Joe told me. “There’s an old record at the Industrial School that you ought to read, an old record at the reformatory that you ought to read, an old record at the state prison that you ought to read.”

I knew what Joe meant, so I read the Industrial School record. It was very, very violent, Joe had been incorrigible, destructive and brutal in relationship to the other boys there and he had been kept in solitary confinement most of the time from the age of twelve to twenty-one. And his record at Green Bay reformatory was equally black. Joe had been very combative, aggressive. He was kept in solitary, took his meals in solitary. The guards were afraid of him. And when Joe was allowed out of his cell to exercise, two husky guards his size or larger walked through the exercise yard with him … one guard ten feet to the right, the other ten feet to the left. If Joe were to jump on one of them the second guard would have the chance to jump to the rescue of his fellow guard.

The record at the State prison was very, very black. Joe displayed his combativeness, his aggressiveness, his capacity to beat up fellow convicts and he served most of the time in the dungeon. The dungeon was eight feet by eight feet by eight feet, the floor sloped toward the door. It was a very thick, heavy wooden door with a small slot in the door at the base of the door and once a day, usually at one or two A.M a tray of food would slip quietly through that slot. And once a week the cell was hosed out for sanitation purposes. Now I’ve been in that dungeon … it issound proof and light proof. And living in thatdarkness and silence practically all of his two terms in state prison is pretty severe punishment. And Joe never got a day off. When they did take him out of the dungeon they locked him in a solitary cell. He was exercised by two guards accompanying him, all alone in the exercise yard.

Now after the first sentence had been served at the prison, he went to the village and committed robberies and was sent back to the prison and they were all afraid of Joe. And the fellow convicts who I interviewed who knew Joe told me very earnestly. “That Joe is a bad one!” and they were afraid of him. And all the psychotherapy Joe received was; “You can if you’re a gentleman”.
Joe had a reason to change and create a new life, in an instant he became a new man.

Posted by Healing Cancer

Emotional Freedom Technique for LOVE

Emotional Freedom Technique for LOVE

by Sherri Carter, MS, ATH Co-Editor of PsychoSpiritual

Editor’s Note from Sherri Carter: I love Emotional Freedom Technique! It really gets to the root issues, helps to release limiting beliefs while creating new emotional attachments to new truths of possibility! read the rest

Recommended Reading
Life Patterns the Secret to Emotional Freedom

Posted by Emotional Healing

Monday, 13 February 2012

The Need for Acceptance

The Need for Acceptance

“Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.”
– Tao Te Ching

Before we are born, whilst we are in the womb, we are part of the womb, part of the mother, all connected, an intermingling of chemicals, energy and whatever else is there. When we are born, a physical connection is severed. And we breathe to obtain oxygen and we suckle at the breast for nutrition. Our senses pick up more sensations and we do not yet have the understanding that we are ourselves, that we are separate. We are very aware of how wonderful we feel. We are very aware of being, but we are unaware that what we see is not us. As a baby we feel that everything in our world is us, we cannot distinguish between out there and in here.

Read more

Posted by Emotional


Wednesday, 25 January 2012

The Power of Attitude

Wow, you have to see this video...

Just received it in an email and passing it on for you to watch

It will guide you into a super-positive attitude, reduce your stress, and help you re-connect to your passion for life! Are you ready for this? ...

* Watch It Here -->

It's called "The Power Of Attitude" Enjoy!


posted by Healing Cancer

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Top 10 Tips for Healing Your Love

Top 10 Tips for Healing Your Love

Top 10 Tips for Healing Your Love
by Wendy Strgar, Good Clean Love, Inc.

Recognizing that our relationships are our most gentle teachers in life is a great way to approach the work involved in staying with them. We too often don’t value and trust the huge amounts of resources that we have invested into them and are too willing to dispose of them before really digging into the work before us. While some relationships were a bad idea from the day they started, the majority are actually perfectly designed to help us grow into the best people we can be. I have been sharing these love tips for years and consistently hear back from our friends and customers that doing the work of love rewards them in ways they couldn’t have imagined. Remember that often the feeling of hitting the wall in love lives in us only moments before a breakthrough that gives meaning to our promises. Make this New Year full of love.

1. The truth is that intimacy begets intimacy. Studies support the strong correlation between a happy relationship and the frequency of sex. Sexual intimacy acts as the glue in long-term relationships, like pouring cement into a foundation inspiring a deep union that paves the way for more emotional closeness and richer communication.

2. Communication issues are often at the heart of a relationship impasse. This is because we all mistakenly believe that we can tell someone how things are. Truly successful communication actually takes place in listening. Listening is such a powerful form of communication that most people cannot tell it apart from feeling loved.

3. It is easy for couples to confuse co-existing with truly showing up for each other. They appear the same when we grow accustomed to not allowing ourselves to need and be needed. Co-existing doesn’t have any of the stickiness factors that showing up does because it happens out of habit, not choice. Truly showing up translates into the safety that you bring to every other part of your relationship.

4. You are what you love, not what loves you back. This is a profoundly freeing recognition that allows you to experience the depth and breadth of your capacity for love. It is a literal revolution for your heart to open up to the most instructive emotional experience we are capable of. Emotional intelligence develops in us with our capacity to love. No one can take that from any of us and love teaches without the need for reciprocity.

5. Relationships can only move forward when both people have two feet in. You don’t ever really get to see what your relationship can become if you or your partner keep one foot out the door. It is an entirely different relationship when both partners are engaged and really committed to making their promises work, one that you can’t even imagine when you are holding the door ajar with one foot.

6. Take responsibility for your erotic self. No one else can heal it or make it work. Begin with getting to know your pleasure anatomy. Freud once famously commented, “The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly.” Learning about your own pleasure response and charting a map to your own orgasm is empowering and will open you to couples pleasure like nothing else.

7. Your feelings should not be allowed to define your story. Feelings are like weather systems that provide fertile information for your life, but they are too changeable and impermanent to trust as a compass for what you are doing in your relationships. Sometimes the most challenging work in a relationship is the very thing needed to strengthen the resolve in your capacity to love.

8. Your attention is the most powerful change agent you can bring to your relationships. Consider how you attend to the details of your financial life, or your career path- your intimate relationships deserve at least that much of your daily attention. They will not thrive without the consistency and patience that all growth requires.

9. Introduce the required physical conversation into your relationship. Stop talking about it and let your body’s wisdom lead you into a language of touch that often has the power to communicate what is behind the words. A physical, but not necessarily sexual conversation is the open door to a more emotionally connected relationship.

10. Your thoughts are the blueprint for your relationship. Your partner knows what you are thinking, even when you don’t say it. We often take ourselves and our relationships too seriously or worse still, hold them hostage to our unspoken doubts. Try for a little levity and lean more heavily on our innate capacity for kindness. Cultivate thoughts that bring you closer to the relationship you envision and vigilantly weed out the ones that don’t.

If you’d like to download these tips, please partake in this free PDF file.

Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love and family. Wendy helps couples tackle the questions and concerns of intimacy and relationships, providing honest answers and advice. Wendy lives in Eugene, OR with her husband, a psychiatrist, and their four children.

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Posted By Healing Cancer

Friday, 13 January 2012

What is Reality?

What is Reality?

Posted: Friday, January 13, 2012


What is reality? we may say that there are many different levels or dimensions of reality and whatever level of reality you are in that is okay. Actors in a TV series are displaying story lines of characters that script writers have written. They come together in a studio and play out their roles. As viewers what do we see? We see a TV screen, a rather small object, and we watch the unfolding drama. We laugh, we cry, we get angry and we can empathize and identify with the lives on that screen. We can discuss the goings on of the characters of the show with our colleges at work and friends and partners. We discuss and contemplate the emotions and feelings of our TV friends. Their lives and behaviors and consequences seem real and we know it is not real, though I fear some people find it hard to appreciate that the actors are not the characters, that is, the characters are make believe, an illusion.

Sometimes actors get too identified with their character that they are portraying and they begin to feel that they are the character. Perhaps the character (especially the hero type) is more appealing to the actor than himself. They start to believe they are the character. The image becomes reality and this is what we do, we believe we are our image.
An image that we portray to the world and we imagine other people perceiving us in the way the image is intended. Images communicating to images, making lots of noise and much ado about nothing. And that is totally okay, there is nothing right or wrong about that. We all do it. It is just another layer built on preceding layers, just the very tip of the iceberg. If we are aware of the layers that are underneath, then we will be happy for we know more of our realities. But if we think that we are only the outermost or the topmost layer, then happiness etc will elude us and we will be deluded. The more layers we are aware of then the more we know of ourselves.

Enlightenment is knowing all of ourself. ‘Know thy self!’ has been echoed throughout our history by mystics and sages and yet how many of us truly want ‘to know myself’? Not just the behavior or why we do the things we do, not understand, not to know a small part of our self, but to Know all.

Knowing ourselves has been acknowledged by all the mystics and sages of the past as the key to enlightenment. Knowing ourselves is a wonderful and mysterious journey filled with awe. There is nothing to be afraid of and yet what prevents us is the fear of the unknown. More correctly it is the fear of ourself that creates the fear of the unknown. Our identity, the ego is the creator of this fear. Our ego fears its own creation, ego fears and is terrified of nothingness. It is terrified that if it reverses direction, instead of going outwards but going inwards it will end up at the beginning. At the starting point of itself, and what then but nothingness, oblivion. The ego will try to prevent you going in that direction, it will produce fear and terror, all fabricated. Illusion, trickery and sleight of hand, but feeling real nevertheless. It works and we simply regain our forward, outward, away from direction, it seems so logical, so logical, so logical, time moves forward, goes from here to there, let’s go that way.

And so we know little of our self, a single drop of water in all the oceans of the world and as we age we know less. The most liberating experience you can have on this plane of existence is reversing direction, diving in, going down and discovering what is there, passing through levels of awareness, becoming more as you do. And nothingness is the gateway, the door, the entry between soul and out here, simply a passageway, pass through and you have enlightenment. But your purpose is not to stay there, for that is what it is, it is all and complete and whole. Your purpose is to be aware of this and then move back through the passageway and up through the levels, with the only knowledge there is, the knowledge of you. You may choose to remove yourself from the noise and illusion of our materialistic world and become a recluse and spend as much time as possible inside and that is okay or you may do exactly what you were doing before and that is okay. Or anything in between.

You will now know more than the tip of the iceberg, you will have been a part of the iceberg, the totality of the iceberg and now there is nothing to fear. You know. What next then is up to you, your ego being just as important as the bliss, will have the ability to decide but decide on knowledge and truth rather than fear. There will be more calmness, a different type of calmness a calmness that is ever present, more of a peacefulness really, even when you are very actively involved in any sort of pursuit or action.

Here is an apt Zen saying, "Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water." The things that need doing are the same as before. What is different is that you are fully present doing the actions and it feels good doing them because you have chosen to do them. You appreciate, you love, you see illusion for illusion and you stop being illusion. All your uplifting strong emotions are small representations of soul. But words are just words.

So what is reality? Don’t we want to know what reality is? Reality is not meaning, not purpose, not searching, not seeking, not you, not I, not me, not us, not we, not them, not this, not that, not this and that, not time, not space, not boundaries, not love, not hate, not desire, not wants, not needs, not everything, not nothing, not anything.

Reality is a construct depending on where we observe and perceive our experience from -

  1. From a cell in our body
  2. From our inner mind
  3. From our ego – by far the most common and therefore universally accepted by mankind
  4. From mankind as a specie
  5. From life on the planet
  6. From the planet
  7. From the moon
  8. From the centre of a galaxy
  9. From the universe
  10. From outside the universe
  11. From a web that has no weaver
By Philip Martin

Recommended Reading
Life Patterns the Secret to Emotional Freedom

Would you like Live longer and be Cancer Free? Read ‘The 5 Step Cancer Healing Process

Philip Martin is a Naturopath, Hypnotherapist and Author of “Life Patterns, the Secret to Emotional Freedom” and “The 5 Step Cancer Healing Process, a clear and defined pathway”. He is a gifted therapist based on the Sunshine Coast Qld. Australia. read his blog Healing Cancer

Posted by Healing Cancer!__the-5-step-cancer-healing-process